Pendejo Mortgage is the kind of company where your dreams of homeownership go to take a nap… and never wake up. With a slogan like "Why Settle for Less When You Can Pay More?", they've perfected the art of offering loans with interest rates that seem more suited to a payday lender than a bank. Their customer service is legendary—if you count never returning your calls and always losing your paperwork as "legendary." And let’s not forget their "special" packages, like the "Balloon Payment Surprise" and the "Oops, We Miscalculated Your Interest Rate!" bundle. At Pendejo Mortgage, they don’t just help you buy a house—they help you buy a one-way ticket to financial ruin!